Every childhood is synonymous with instructions raining from parents and other people around. A child is continuously told to do this and not to do that. This continues throughout their childhood where they are influenced by the various people around them and their prejudices. And now, social media is treating human beings as puppets and has assigned emojis, so that they can express their emotions as one type of the many offered.

But a human being is not a puppet and, endowed with the mental faculty of imagination and discernment, can never be one. Even the poorest of the poor, the most hopeless, disadvantaged person, upholds this unique feature that no other creature has in the known universe. However, the tension between what you are told to do and what you believe you should do, creates a force that decides the course of your life. In the epic poem, Aeneid, Virgil (70-19 BCE) writes of a character as saying, “If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell,” (Book VII, line 312).

Even after we grow up and parents and other authority figures have faded away, the “shoulds” given to us, continue to live inside us, like the echo of a shout keeps wandering in the valley for a while. Our mind is, indeed, ruled by the oppression of the “shoulds”, dictating the way we think, act, and feel. Of course, our “should” beliefs have served us in the past, in shaping our concepts of how the world works and how we are to behave in it. Our achievements, social network, and control are the fruits of this “should tree.” 

But, like fruits rot over a period, we must examine the “shoulds” operating inside us, refreshing them with the changing times and situations. The good news is that we have the power to change the way we think — and free ourselves from the shackling “shoulds.” I have come to believe that the purpose of a human life is best served by allowing your unique “person” to manifest, transcending the “shoulds” by developing the faculty of discernment between what is good and bad, and acting upon life, as it presents itself. Adi Shankaracharya called his magnum opus of the Advaita Vedanta, the Vivekchudamani (विवेकचूडामणि) i.e., the “crest-jewel of discrimination.” 

All major religions of the world are unanimous on this one point that this life is an opportunity to better the afterlife. There is a Quranic verse (11.7), as translated by the Turkish scholar, Ali Ünal (b. 1955), ‘Your proper abode is the Hereafter, where you will be either in bliss or suffering according to your conduct in the world.’ Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam taught me to take every situation in life as a test that I must pass with honors. He used to say, ‘If things are flowing very fine for you, most likely, you are getting trapped by the bliss, to be driven to your destruction.’

Dante Alighieri (1265-1321) titled his major work as Divine Comedy. Human beings are born in this sinful world, in the process of moral change. People suffer, not simply as the consequences of some past bad deeds or to repay some debt, but to become good. This world is a place where one can reflect upon the sins, and thereby, change the psychological tendencies which lead one to sin. This process, called Purgatory, leads to an extraordinary richness in one’s character.

Dante imagines Purgatory as being divided into seven terraces, each one corresponding to a vice, namely, pride, envy, anger, sloth, avarice, gluttony, and lust. On each terrace, there is a slightly different form of suffering: the envious, for instance, have their eyes sewn up; the proud are weighed down by stones. The range of forms of suffering is, therefore, considerably greater, but so is the process of change, full of opportunities and possibilities.

And, coming to the concept of reincarnation, we leave one life and go into another as part of spiritual growth, by taking on physicality. There are varying levels of consciousness through which a soul moves, depending upon the moral quality of the activities in the life-forms, from minerals, plants and animals to human beings at the pinnacle. The implication is that the soul essentially remains the same, while occupying a new body. A life is, essentially, a dream: fleeting and illusory. 

Buddha pinned the ego-consciousness, as grounding one into a cesspool of desires. One is reborn through desire, which needs a body to manifest. Every desire creates an action, that generates a reaction, and this cascade of actions and reactions determines one’s next incarnation. A human life, being the highest in the entire creation, is, indeed, achieved after great tribulations through multiple existences at lower levels of consciousness, and it is a pity if it is wasted, and one slides back into inferior realms by living unwholesomely. Virgil writes in the Aeneid (Book VI, lines 126-129, as translated by the English poet, John Dryden (1631 1700):

The gates of hell are open night and day Smooth the descent, and easy is the way: But to return, and view the cheerful skies, In this the task and mighty labor lies. I have derived a three-fold code of living a good life, from the Shrimad Bhagavad Gita. The first is to act upon your circumstances, मा ते सङ्गः (च) अकर्मणि मा अस्तु. Action is not optional (II. 47). The second is to act wholesomely, and not selfishly. One must surrender to one’s fate, माम् एकम् शरणम् व्रज (XVIII.66). Attend to the situation in the best way possible, without grudging and complaining. And finally, one must learn to be satisfied in one’s own self, आत्मनि एव आत्मना तुष्टः. Being alive and experiencing bliss is the greatest blessing (II.55). 

There was a great tennis player, Arthur Ashe (1943 –1993), whom I admired as a teenager, for his graceful style. He won the singles title at Wimbledon, the US Open, and the Australian Open. But fate was cruel to him, and Ashe contracted HIV from a blood transfusion he received during a heart bypass surgery in 1983. However, rather than moaning over the tragedy, he dedicated the rest of his life, albeit a short one, to service. He founded the Arthur Ashe Foundation for the Defeat of AIDS and the Arthur Ashe Institute for Urban Health, before his death in 1993. For several years, I used his words, ‘Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can,’ as a footer in my email. 

It is futile to get annoyed that your position is not good, that you are at a disadvantage, that conditions are unfavourable, people are against you, and so on. Acceptance of your situation and/ or condition, as well as putting in conscious efforts to make the best of the same and moving on from the undesirable situation, is fundamental to living a peaceful and meaningful life. Easy money, entitlements, and rise without effort have never been good to whoever had gone after them. 

I spent the last few months reading the copious History of Western Philosophy by the British philosopher, Bertrand Russell (1872-1970), published in 1945. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1950. Bertrand Russell presents, as a good teacher, how Western thought developed in ancient Greece, processed into Christianity and led to revolutions in England, France, Russia, and finally, the United States. The book brings out the deep-rooted ideological chasm between France, Spain, England and Germany, and how it even affects the politics of the modern United States.  

There is another excellent book, The Silk Roads: A New History of the World, by the young British historian, Peter Frankopan (b. 1971), published in 2015. The book debunks the high ground of the Western civilization and calls it the success of the military, greed, and deceit. “The age of empire and the rise of the west were built on the capacity to inflict violence on a major scale. The Enlightenment and the Age of Reason, the progression towards democracy, civil liberty and human rights, were not the result of an unseen chain linking back to Athens in antiquity or a natural state of affairs in Europe; they were the fruits of political, military and economic success in faraway continents.” Who were the philosophers who inspired the Holocaust, and the nuclear bombing of two Japanese cities in 1945? What is happening in Ukraine? 

Both the books I mentioned above are blissfully ignorant about Indian philosophy. I am not lamenting, because even the majority of Indians today are like that. They have accepted the “mutations” of philosophy into traditions, rituals and superstitions, as their mental universe, and are ready to listen to the gurus who appear on TV in well-orchestrated and meticulously held “events” and move around displaying the latest “spiritual fashions.” No one has written about Indian philosophy after Dr. Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan (1888-1975), whose two volumes of Indian Philosophy, published in 1923, remain the last lamp post. All further movement is in the dark and there is an abyss ahead.

Bertrand Russell writes, “To understand an age or a nation, we must understand its philosophy, and to understand its philosophy we must ourselves be in some degree philosophers. There is here a reciprocal causation; the circumstances of men’s lives do much to determine their philosophy, but, conversely, their philosophy does much to determine their circumstances.” People land themselves in certain circumstances by living in certain manners, and then the circumstances decide the way they live their lives. The inglorious subjugation of a vast country like India by a handful of invaders is, perhaps, the best example of this.  

Dr. Radhakrishnan is blunt when he writes in The Foundation of Civilisation: Ideas and Ideals, “Those who look upon our political slavery as the external violence of a band of robbers preying on innocent people have a very narrow conception of history… it is our ‘crowed uncleanness of soul’ that is responsible for our backward condition. This is required to be overcome. We cannot build a new India unless we first build ourselves. The immediate task confronting us is moral purgation, spiritual regeneration. It alone can bring national rebirth and freedom.”

These words were ignored. Our freedom came, but at the immense cost of the Partition that caused the uprooting of more than fifteen million people, and the deaths of between one and two million. It not only mutilated the body of the Indian nation, but also debased its soul. Living in denial and wandering without vision, when the world around us got transformed, India remained an energy-starved and technologically dependent country. Most of the wealth created continues to go out in importing oil and high-technology goods. 

Now, once again, we are facing a grave threat to our nation. In the post-coronavirus world, China has decided to define its sphere of influence in the world with Russia, who has not forgotten and forgiven the Western world over the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991. The United States has been exposed for the chinks in its armour. It is a divided nation and past its prime. So is the European Union, reduced to an arrangement of one currency and the free movement of people and trade, but unable to take any unified stand. The stand that India takes will decide the conditions in which our future generations live. And just when we need the best of our minds to come together, we see the ugly face of “The Argumentative Indian,” best portrayed by Dr. Amartya Sen (b. 1933), in his book of the same title. 

The biggest threat to India is the confusion around the idea of our nationhood. What makes India a nation? The Constitution of India, prepared over three years by the best of Indian minds, and in force since 1950, is the definition of India. Let there be no confusion about it, and no clever manipulations must be made for electoral gains by any political party. Any such daring would harm the nation and invite aggressors, who would be most happy to control our markets, and thereby, our future. Even a little error here would be costly. 

Economic growth, as it is happening, must not become the undoing of the work of social cohesion which has been effected; first, by the public sector and then, by the subsidy regimes. In a democratic doctrine, equality does not end with the Constitutional Proclamation, but continues from time to time through the medium of the elected governments, to which, therefore, it is the duty of the individual to submit his private opinions. The new fashion of squatting and picketing to oppose Parliamentary laws and disrupting the Parliament with sloganeering, is more dangerous then it appears on the surface. 

Young people are no longer ascertaining the truth by consulting their parents or teachers, who were the original authority figures, but from the social media, which is like a gutter of misinformation and untruths. There is a tendency, quickly developed, towards anarchism in politics, and, in religion, towards superficial rituals, rather than meditation and service, which had always fitted well into the framework of every religion In India. The culture of nuclear families, consumerism and living on credit is disastrous. Social institutions are withering and I look at the days ahead rather solemnly. 

When the invisible light passes through a medium, we only see different colors out of electromagnetic waves, and none else. Perhaps, this is the original idea of the soul living through physicality. A narrow view of life, chasing rainbows, indulging in the movements of clouds while ignoring the ground reality, is full of perils. Attend to your reality – who you are, your condition, and focus on how to harmonize it with the overall situation.

Grabbing what is not given, and living at the cost of others is, indeed, absurd. A parasite is existentially dependent upon its host and though it flourishes by feasting on its host, it must also die with it. We are all parts of one whole, and these parts are ordered in a certain way. Learn to see the whole, the unseen and the sacred, as therein lies the magic and the meaning of a human life. 

For many months, I have been reading “Faust,” a poem of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832), published in two parts – in 1806 and in 1832. Originally written in German, it has been translated by several people. The translation by the American poet, Bayard Taylor, done in 1862, reached me. Later, I came to know that it is the best English translation done, including one by the famous poet, Shelley. I got into this book, as Carl Jung (1875-1961) called the character of Faust as his lifetime inspiration. Upon reading it, I found it very touching, and the storytelling was, indeed mesmerizing.  

One must read world-class literature, if interested, for expanding one’s mind beyond the 24×7 show of “make-beliefs” and pride and prejudices injected into our minds through “education” and “cultural conditioning.” This becomes even more important as the education system has disowned moral education and turned itself into an exam-passing machine; and culture has been hijacked by social media. We must read books starting with our mother tongue and national authors, and then move on to world classics and all-time greats. 

In the last one year, I have read Tolstoy (1828-1910), who wrote in Russian, the French author Victor Hugo (1802-1885), and now, Goethe. The beauty of “Faust” is that it makes you aware of yourself, raising questions about what it means to be a human in this imperfect world. As another German author, Karen Horney (1885-1952), puts it, there are three ways in which people manage their lives: by moving toward people, by moving against people, and by moving away from people. However, there are no pure types, and a lot of mix and match goes on, to make life complicated.

In the poem, Faust is a 50-year-old, highly educated and accomplished man living in Germany. He finds his life without purpose. He is unable to comprehend what holds the world together at its core (line 382). At this juncture, Faust is approached by Satan, who makes a deal that he will get Faust whatever he wants in this world, in exchange for controlling his afterlife. The moment Faust signs the contract, with his blood as ink, Satan becomes his slave to fulfill all his desires. 

Your palate also shall be sated
Your nostrils sweetly stimulated
Your sense of touch exhilarated
(lines 1442-44).

The desire of Faust to regain his youth is quickly met. Then, he wants to marry a pious girl. But, meanwhile, she ends up poisoning her mother, her brother is killed in a fight over her reputation, and she is hanged for drowning her illegitimate child. This is the story of Part One. It shakes you off from being a desire machine, as no desire is without consequences. The picture shows a painting of Faust and Satan playing chess to convey that every move of a piece on the board affects the entire game. 

Goethe very aptly describes life as simultaneously living in two worlds – one, small and another, bigger. The smaller world is our personal world – what we think and feel, our family, friends and adversaries, helpmates and tormentors, our pursuits, successes, and failures. Our free will is all we have here. The bigger world is that in which this small world exists – the society, economy, politics, nature, and so on. We hardly have any control on what happens in this world, and must make our way through it by taking good decisions.

In Part Two, which I find the most brilliant literature I have ever come across, Goethe creates Faust, facing characters and situations representing the Old World of Spirits and Providence and the New World of Science and Rationality. This time, Faust desires the resurrection of Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman ever born, as his wife, and a kingdom for himself. Both happen, but again end in tragedy. There is a last-minute twist when Faust desires for salvation and, unable to accomplish it for him, Satan defaults on the contract and Faust finds impunity in Cosmic Unity (line 11807, 8).

What is the message? My takes are three.

The first is the brevity of human life. Even if we live for, say, 100 years, it is a very short time if we include our ancestors, whose DNA and karma we are living out, and our future generations, living out after our death, our DNA and karma. It is, indeed, most stupid to take decisions without considering this big picture. None of us exists as an isolated entity – everything is connected, not only here, in this world, but in other unseen realms and space-times. The spirit-world is, indeed, “running” our lives, through the impulses and drives emerging from within us.

The second learning is the mistake of trying to achieve stardom instead of living properly, or creating a perfect society without sorting out our own personal defects. People run businesses without sorting out the problems within their own families. Modern workplaces smack of unhealthy promiscuousness. Children and the elderly are neglected by the “global executives” and adultery is packaged into lifestyles. It is stupid to change and better the world without living a clean life oneself and attending to the responsibilities that the fundamental institution of a family entails. Many of these people end up in addictions. 

The third learning is, misunderstanding the purpose of human life itself. There is no “I” here. This is the biggest illusion that we carry. In whatever we do, or whatever happens to us, or even what we think, there is an involvement of others. Faust tries to step beyond the limitations of a human life, to seek that which is not given to mankind to know or experience. Because of this, his life is a constant series of disappointments and frustrations. So are the careers of people in the modern corporate world.  

Faust is a hero because he never loses heart and continues with the struggle. Ultimately, he comes to understand the meaning of life as to learn, as an eternal soul, different experiences in this mortal and ever-changing physicality. Interestingly, Goethe differed with Newton on light and colors. According to Goethe, the highest degree of light, such as that of the sun, is colorless. Only through a medium, is it seen as colored. Similarly, the pure cosmic soul acquires different qualities upon entering physicality.

Life is the striving of a soul during its evolution. It means action. Even if you have made mistakes, keep pursuing your path. Giving up midway, abandoning your responsibilities, failing your obligations, and letting down your own self by laziness and cowardice, is following Satan. There are no miracles, only traps with disastrous consequences. All you need is to say no to anything that is given, apparently free, or promised by breaking natural laws. 

The Scottish poetess, Carol Ann Duffy (b. 1955), in her poem, “Mrs Faust”, sums up best the predicament of the contemporary woman and man chasing wealth, power, and pleasures in the world, and living their lives as if playing chess with the Devil:

I grew to love lifestyle, not the life.
He grew to love the kudos, not the wife.

She concludes the hard-hitting poem by questioning if the clever, cunning, and callous modern people have even a soul to sell.

There is so much humbug about the idea of the mind. Religions, philosophers, psychologists, medical doctors and, of late, businesspeople, especially those in the marketing domain, offer their own constructs about how the human mind works. And, for sure, people have no clue about the origin of their temperaments, attitudes, fears, and desires. It is interesting to understand the mind from a Calculus perspective.

Calculus is the child of two fathers – the English, natural philosopher, Isaac Newton (1643-1727), and the German polymath, Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz (1646-1716). The tendency to observe similarities and see a need for integration, and the tendency to notice dissimilarities and see a need for differentiation, is common and widespread. Labeling these two ways of looking at things as “integration” and “differentiation” from Calculus, is reasonable. 

There is variety. Some individuals are high in both, integration, and differentiation, and conversely, some people are low in both traits. For simplicity, and to emphasize their distinctness, we can call people as “lumpers” and “splitters.” A child is a great lumper, over-inclusive and its classes are generic and undifferentiated. As we grow, the development of “I-ness” makes us divide things, mostly into “what I like” and “what I dislike.” 

The “I-ness” is straightforward and should be accepted as the cornerstone of human personality. In the Shrimad Bhagavad Gita (VII. 4), it is written as having been said by God Himself:

भूमिरापोऽनलो वायुः खं मनो बुद्धिरेव च।

अहङ्कार इतीयं मे भिन्ना प्रकृतिरष्टधा।।

Earth, water, fire, air, ether, mind, intellect, and the feeling of I-ness (अहंकारः) – thus is My Nature divided eightfold (इति अष्टधा भिन्ना मे इयम् प्रकृतिः).

The Austrian doctor, Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), called “I-ness” as “Ego.” The Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Carl Jung (1875-1961), called it the center of the “conscious mind” and placed the “unconscious mind” as its opposite. The “I-ness of me” is held in balance by “what I am, but not aware of,” thereby, making it a dynamic entity. It will keep expanding as more and more psychic energy emerges out of the unconscious and gets added into the conscious. 

The issue is, therefore, not “what I am”, but “what I can be”, and the focus must be on “my openness” to “become.” The idea of openness to experience was articulated by the British polymath, Sir Francis Galton (1822–1911), and the Five-Factor Model (FFM) of personality traits is currently the dominant theory in all of psychology today. The five factors are – Openness, Conscientiousness (careful way of working), Extroversion (outgoingness), Agreeableness, and Neuroticism (irritability). 

Self-development is all about discern, which is differentiating functions. The environment we live in offers a basket of options – some good, many bad – and there is always scope to choose one, especially not to go with that which is unwholesome. Growth demands declutter – letting go off all that and all those who have not been good. This not only includes primordial identities, dogmas, habits, and beliefs, but also faling into grooves of careers and roles in the society.    

The first differentiation, fundamental and the most difficult, is that we separate from the “parent” we have internalized. This is filled with anxiety and the most prevalent reason for young people getting into addiction or substance abuse – mostly smoking and alcohol – is to pacify this anxiety. Successful differentiation from the “parent” is like a “second birth.” Failure in differentiating ourselves from the parent effect settles us permanently in mediocrity and powerlessness. 

The second differentiation involves recognizing and changing the negative personality borrowed from our parents and other influential figures in childhood. Altering these unpleasant or toxic personality characteristics is essential. All vanity, phoniness, self-centeredness, a victimized orientation towards life, attitudes of superiority and contempt are appropriated from people around, and must be disowned. 

The third differentiation is, looking into the psychological defences we developed early in our lives to deal with pain. There is a strong, and almost automatic, tendency to defend ourselves the way we did as children. Denying, forgetting, exaggerating, projecting our fears, and outbursts are childish behaviours. Saying goodbye to our “child selves” is essential for living fully as the adults we are now.

The fourth and final step of psychological differentiation is to identify our own values, ideals, and beliefs that may be different from those of the culture in which we grew up. For example, Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam did not eat meat from age 15 onwards. This is the last barrier before we can strive to lead a life of integrity, according to our own ideals, overcoming social pressures to conform to the standards of others. 

Integration operates in two domains – internal and external. Internal integration is to allow and assimilate the unconscious into consciousness. External integration is concerned with relatedness, interpersonal communion, and intimacy. Seeing similarities and connections is beneficial. Looking at the food before start eating and appreciating the complex ways it traversed to come before you – grains from fields, salt from the sea, spices from the hills, curd from the dairy…. and so on.  All forms of meditation are essentially integration exercises. 

Finally, I come to Limits and Continuity, the central concept of Calculus. All phenomenon is a function; constant for a while, that is, in a narrow frame of time, but eventually, changing. Only within limits is a function an independent variable. Outside the limits, it is part of chaos. This is like a line that can be drawn on a paper. Once the pencil is lifted or the paper border is breached, there is no more extension of the line.  

The fundamental philosophy of Calculus is to approximate, to refine the approximation, and apply a limit process. An insight into Calculus helps us identify the “balance points” as steady states. Moving away from steady state invites reactions, which may or may not be what we expect. To predict what changes would appear – integrating one instant, differentiating the next – is the real of art of living.

Unheeded happiness is, indeed, fatal. The more you desire, the weaker you become. The more you consume, the more diluted your life gets. The Scottish philosopher, John Stuart Mill (1806-1873), described his despair of “becoming a utilitarian machine with a suicidal ghost inside.” All the world’s a differential equation, and men and women are infinitesimal variables – may be less than any finite quantity; yet, never zero. 

Know your soul as a continuous function – infinity to infinity – but live within the limits of the time and space imposed by your body. Don’t slight or belittle anyone, or overlook a change, however minute it may appear. And never allow your mind to create its own imaginary world, neglecting the people around you, and running away from difficulties. Live your life embracing both, the good and the bad that it brings. You are an infinite function, so always choose to rise over run. 

I have been unwell for a while and mostly stay at home. It has been three years since I have traveled out of Hyderabad. There was the lockdown period in between when everybody was stationed at home, and culture of Zoom calls and work-from-home evolved, but gradually, the world has returned to normal and all the birds are flying again, except for those who must learn to enjoy their tree, the branches, the nest, and the straws of which it was made, remembering the story of each straw.  

I have been a voracious reader and a regular writer. Somehow, by publishing one book every year, I could publish some 24 titles and can brag of writing. Many of these books are ordinary but some are brilliant – especially, Wings of Fire (1999), A Doctor’s Story of Life & Death (2001), Transcendence (2015), and A Modern Interpretation of Lokmanya Tilak’s Gita Rahasya (2017). When I read them now, I wonder if it was I who wrote them, or an unseen force that wrote them through me. My book on Kabir, explaining the idea of God Within is with my publisher and the manuscript of Abundance and O Mind! are works in progress. 

My study is indeed a strange place. There is a wall on my left, fully covered with books that I have bought, or received as gifts, and I could read most of them. There are some mementoes that I have collected after my talks, and a picturesque pencil sketch done by former CSIR scientist Ali Kausar, showing me sitting at the feet of Dr APJ Abdul Kalam. And of course, my Apple computer, connected to the Internet and the Bluetooth earphones with which I prefer attending to videos of leading scientists and philosophers of our times and educational matter of high quality and value.

Two Carls have been my heroes – the Swiss medical doctor and psychologist, Carl Jung, and American astronomer and writer, Carl Sagan. Over the years, I have read the 20 volumes of The Collected Works of C.G. Jung that run into some 10,000 pages and also all the books written by Carl Sagan. Recently, I discovered an hour-long interview of Carl Jung, and was thrilled to see the person I idolized talking on my computer screen. When asked by the interviewer, “Do you believe in God?” Jung answered, “What believe? I know God.” Jung died in June 1961, but his answer filled me with awe even in 2022.

This interview of Jung’s created ripples in my psyche, as does a stone when thrown in a placid pond. I came across, or to use a better expression, a lecture appeared before me given by David Bentley Hart on experiencing God as Being, Consciousness and Bliss, what we call in India as Sat-Chit-Ananda. This video was followed by an essay written by American psychologist Kirk Schneider which made me write this blog and I am using the title of his essay. Kirk Schneider is known for his work on Existential-Humanistic Psychology. The gist of his work is to guide his patients towards personal and collective aliveness as against waiting for death passively in their adverse health situations. 

Carl Jung explained a human life as merely a link of a very long chain. We are aware of our parents, grandparents, and very rarely, some children may even see their great-grand parents. Beyond them, there is darkness. In earlier homes, there used to be an old trunk filled with articles of ancestors, but no more. Nucleated families live “lean” and prefer “fully furnished” rented properties over building houses or wasting “space” for storing “old stuff.” No wonder, an increasing number of children are estranged from their parents and one can find “old-age homes” in every big Indian city. In small towns, old people are living alone their social deaths while waiting for the biological end. 

The thirteen-part television series Cosmos: A Personal Voyage written and presented by Carl Sagan in 1980 is now available on YouTube for anyone willing to experience the awe of universe in which we live. Carl Sagan passed away in 1996 but I can be with him watching this series any time and so anyone can who is interested. In one short clip on YouTube, when someone asked Carl Sagan if he believed in God, Sagan asked back, “What kind of God are you asking about?” His question took me back to David Bentley Hart and through him, to Sat-Chit-Ananda. Can I feel Sat-Chit-Ananda in me? 

Kirk Schneider’s essay provided me the answer when I read it in the light of Carl Jung’s description of “psyche” as an energy between two poles like charge in an electric battery cell. Schneider lists eight conditions of old age: being alone; experiencing sorrow; loss or absence of hope; fear; fragility; uncertainty; anger; and feeling lost. Then he gives two possible responses – one of death and the other of life. 

I can feel the challenge of being alone; worry about my regrets and sorrows; feel paralysed under despair and hope of any kind; shudder of fear of this being my last day, or week; feel terrorized of fragility; be distressed due to uncertainty; experience the bitterness of rage for all the wrong that was done to me; and the panic of feeling lost. This is one way of living the remainder of my life. 

Or, I can enjoy the creativity of being alone; feeding the birds; tending to plants; or indulging in some hobby I always wanted to take up but could not find time for; feel the sensitivity of experiencing sorrow; the mobilisation spurred by despair; the defiance sparked by fear; the humility generated by fragility; the possibilities opened up by uncertainty; the strength aroused by rage; and curiosities prompted by disarray. 

My long-standing friend and renowned cardiologist, Dr P Krishnam Raju tells me that though diseases are pathways to death, the two are not necessarily related. People die without any disease even in their youth and severely diseased patients live for years praying for their death in vain. If I am alive today, it is indeed a gift. What am I doing with this day, this moment? And it is here that a wide-angle picture helps. When you watch a sparrow visiting you to glean its grain and you find it waiting if you are late by a few minutes, you will be filled with awe. Watching the sun rise is another powerful experience! And the dazzling show of stars every night is there for all those who can “plug themselves off” from their TV.

Neglecting and abusing the body is sinful. My body is the instrument, the medium for my soul, and my willpower comes from the visceral core. A malnourished body, an unkempt body, a tired body, a body kept awake for watching some program on TV late in the night, a body deprived of fresh air and blocked off the fragrance of flowers and plants, the sounds of birds and the sight of floating clouds in the vast blue sky – renders a cordial invite to ailments. Know life as the expansion of consciousness and death as its constriction. Get up, stretch your arms, look up, take a deep breath, exhale and enjoy the wonder of being alive. Carl Jung said in the interview I watched, “Live life as if you are going to be there for 100 years!”