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The Utility and Futility of a Human Life
The Utility and Futility of a Human Life
I am running into my seventieth year. Born on February 10, 1955, I have lived a somewhat uncertain life with some cardiac electrophysiological issues since childhood and, later, coronary artery disease that necessitated multiple angioplasties, a bypass surgery, and two stents. Besides this, overall, life has been experientially enriched and satisfying. In hindsight, things happened to me without my planning or pursuing them. Now, I spend most of my time studying at home.
What is the purpose of human life? Is it all stories that we are told and that we, in turn, tell? How much of human free will is real? Is everything fated? Should we be captured right in childhood to be productive and compliant with the socioeconomic system? Are our education, careers, and livelihoods not orchestrated by the powers that run this world? Every religion has found the truth, but their findings differ. A good portion of science is dogmatic. The 12th of 18 verses of the short and crisp Isha Upanishad pin the truth.
अन्धं तमः प्रविशन्ति येऽसम्भूतिमुपासते।
ततो भूय इव ते तमो य उ सम्भूत्यां रताः ॥
Those who seek eternal truth enter blind darkness, and those who study material existence live in greater darkness.
I have been an avid reader since childhood. Later, I curated a small personal library and now spend most of my time reading books, some new but mainly from the old lot. One such book is She by Henry Rider Haggard. I first read it in Pantnagar in the 1970s, during my graduation there, and got scared when the young protagonist encountered an ageless woman, living for 2000 years in youth, waiting for him to follow various life cycles and meet her. I avoided watching the film based on this novel for many years, and finally, when I saw it, I had goosebumps at the climax.
This time, after re-reading the book, I ordered its sequel, The Return of She. It was published in 1905, 18 years after the first novel. Many books survive the test of time, live long after their authors are gone, remain in print, and people buy them not because they are advertised but as if a mysterious hand has led them there. These books are waiting to be read, thought through and absorbed.
In the 3rd chapter of the sequel book, the hero, 22 years old, when he met ‘She’ in the first book, is now searching for ‘her’ in the Siberian wilderness ‘driven onward by blind fatalism’ as the only guide. He, along with his elderly mentor and co-traveller, take shelter in a monastery where some elderly Buddhist monks – lamas – live, cut off from the world, ‘with no other company than that of their pious contemplation’. They spend many months waiting for winter to get over and read the old manuscripts stored there. A diary with the lama ‘written about two hundred and fifty years earlier’ confirms that they are on the right trail.
. . . there was a fine country beyond the mountains . . . people [there] worship a priestess . . . who is said to reign from generation to generation. . . She lives in a great mountain, apart, and is feared and adored by all, but is not the queen of the country, in the government of which she seldom interferes. However, sacrifices are offered to her, and he who incurs her vengeance dies.
When the hero shows this passage to a lama, who is now eighty, the lama confirms that he met such a lady when he was a young novice in the monastery. She had come with a group of warriors who had crossed the desert for shelter.
She was all loveliness in one shape; she was like the dawn upon the snows; she was like the evening star above the mountains; she was like the first flower of the spring . . . That woman, if woman she were, lit a fire in my heart which will not burn out. . . She made me worship her.
Your Path is Renunciation and your Nirvana, a most excellent Nothingness which some would think it scarce worthwhile to strive so hard to reach. Now I will show you a more joyous way and a goddess more worthy of your worship. . . The way of Love and Life —that makes all the world to be, that made you. Though I change, I do not die.
Now, the lama insists that the hero not go after ‘her’ and offers to let him stay at the monastery for the rest of his life. But to the hero, the purpose of life is to seek one’s desires. When the hero tells the lama that he met ‘her’ 18 years ago and that it will only be a reunion, the lama replies:
Doubtless, you will find her there as you expect . . . Only be not mistaken, she is no immortal; nothing is immortal. She is but a being held back by her own pride . . . That pride will be humbled . . . that brow of majesty shall be sprinkled with the dust of change and death . . . . sinful sprit must be purified by sorrow and by separations.
[Even] if you win her, it will be but to lose, and then the ladder must be reclimbed . . . why labour to pour water into a broken jar whence it must sink into the sands of profitless experience, and there be wasted, whilst you remain athirst?
Now comes the counterpoint. The hero replies to the lama:
Water makes the sand fertile . . . where water falls, life comes, and sorrow is the seed of joy. Love is the law of life. . . without love there is no life. I seek love that I may live. I believe all these things are ordained to an end we do not know. Fate draws me on – I fulfil my fate. . . we are sworn to a tryst, and we will not break our word.
The argument climaxes in the lama declaring the futility of life and the hero’s utility:
Then, brethren, go keep your tryst, and when you have reaped its harvest, think upon my saying, for I am sure that the wine you crush from the vintage of your desire will run red like blood, and that in its drinking, you shall find neither forgetfulness nor peace.
. . . to dwell through aeons in monotonous misery in order that conciousness may be swallowed up at last in some void and formless abstraction called the ‘Utter Peace.’ I would rather take my share of a bad world and keep my hope of a better.
I have learnt from this book how the lama concludes, and I share this with my readers as my gift.
. . . So would I . . . Who can tell? Moreover, what is the use of reasoning? . . we have no choice; we follow our fate. To what that fate may lead us, we shall learn in due season.
Know that the concept of individual fate is a false idea. An individual’s destiny is intertwined with the destiny of the larger community or society to which he or she belongs. Our actions and choices must help the broader social fabric in which we are embedded. The more isolated and selfish our life, the more individualistic our thinking, the more futile our life. What can be the utility of a wheel locked to a pole? The purpose of a wheel is to move. The purpose of human life is to expand consciousness, work to progress, and serve others through good conduct. The rest of the action and drama are futility, vanity, and entropy.
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